The Rest of the World

“A populace aware of how much worse it could be, but for the grace of God, is a docile populace.”

“Lots of somebodies did somethings back in 2001, so why are we making a big deal out of it now, anyway?”

The dire consequences of a foreign country setting the editorial and content agenda.

The US under the Biden administration numbered among the abstainers.

“We cannot stand idly by while innocents suffer.”

“We’re all trying to find the guy who did this.”

Palestinian threats over Jerusalem embassies have destroyed the world millions of times already.

NOI has long worked to counter white supremacy.

“It’s ridiculous to argue that because Basher Assad has killed more Palestinians in Syria over the last twelve years than Israel ever has anywhere, the situation in Syria should concern people more.”

“It’s agitators who want you to be scared, because scared people are easier to control.”

Civilians shouldn’t own assault weapons. Except Palestinian civilians.

About six SJP activists convened to launch an observance that took the form of every other event in their skill set: chanting slogans “From the River to the Sea, Palestine Will Be Free!” New York, April 18 – Holocaust Remembrance Day occurs today, on the 80th anniversary of the 1943 launch of the Warsaw Ghetto …

An eyebrow-raising violation of established custom. West Hempstead, April 3 – Congregants at a Jewish house of worship in this Long Island hamlet suspected something amiss this past Saturday morning when a group of attendees violated established custom by arriving exactly at the announced time for services, instead of sometime in the forty or fifty …

“Local and national leaders will begin questioning whether or not other nations they currently show respect for and send money to actually exist.” By: Dr. Nu vo Denn In an unprecedented joint statement, the head of the Palestinian Authority and the Hamas movement controlling the Gaza Strip declared that their nation has launched a defensive …

The researchers immediately grasped that the creatures were referencing the common practice among Western journalists, politicians, and “experts” to ignore fourteen centuries of Jew-hate embedded in Islamic culture. Washington, March 14 – Zoologists have determined that pachyderms have an analogous concept to a common human phrase referring to an obvious but uncomfortable issue that goes …

Jews have a tendency to see attacks on them as motivated by hate for Jews, which is only true in about 98% of cases. Los Angeles, March 2 – The Los Angeles Police Department voiced reluctance today to classify the latest violent assault on Jews as a hate crime, a spokesman explained Thursday, noting that …

The man also expressed the hope that, as with the vast majority of attacks on Jews in the Western world, the pork-smearing and mezuzah-removing operation will help to free Palestine. Denver, March 2 – Two weeks after antisemites tore ritual objects off the doorposts and smeared pork all over the residences of Jewish students here, …

Raichik’s defenders have dismissed the “stochastic terrorist” designation, but no such defense occurred in the case of “Globalize the Intifada!” since the accusation never came. Los Angeles, February 21 – The personality behind an anti-trans-ideology social media account that many have accused of, simply by naming them, encouraging violence against trans people and the institutions and …

Analysts believe the games themselves only became popular because the Elders desired an additional avenue through which to communicate their daily encrypted instructions. New York, February 9 – Wordle, Quordle, Spelling Bee – for the vast majority of players, these and other games provide a few minutes of brain-stimulating fun; for a select few, they …

American journalists whose outlets covered ANTIFA demonstrations wondered aloud whether in fact they can describe the Tel Aviv rallies as “peaceful.” Washington, February 2 – The weekly rallies in Tel Aviv and elsewhere demonstrating against the Likud-led government’s stated intention to fundamentally alter the relationship between the judiciary and the other branches of government have featured …

“I don’t get it. How do those people show their resistance to Zionism?” Ramallah, January 24 – Subjects of the Palestinian Authority expressed surprise today upon discovering that outside their self-rule areas, the standard treatment for people convicted of violent crimes involves imprisonment and other penalties, and not, as those subjects have become accustomed to under Fatah-Hamas …

“Jewish settlers are storming the… mosque-like thing!” Washington, January 12 – A group of tourists from villages around Ramallah and Tulkarm created disturbances in the vicinity of the US Capitol building Thursday when one of them spotted another group entering the rotunda-capped facility in traditional Hasidic garb, and reacted as accustomed when catching sight of such …

“We understand the decision even if we disagree with the reasoning behind it.” Beijing, January 4 – Diplomatic delegates representing Mahmoud Abbas lamented today that their advice to Xi Jinping and his administration on how to handle a resurgence of the SARS-CoV-2 pathogen has apparently gone ignored, specifically the recommendation that Xi follow their society’s …

Disappointing third-quarter results from the California Wildfire Initiative of the Harvey and Jeanette Weinberg Space Laser. New York, December 26 – Disappointing status reports came under review today at the shadowy Zionist organization that manipulates earthly events using advanced orbiting technology, indicating that the machine sparking blazes that have consumed millions of acres of brush, …

“Israel didn’t figure into such behavior a hundred or two hundred years ago. We just have a fig leaf for it now, and that feels good.” New York, December 15 – A man arrested today for multiple assaults of Hasidim in Brooklyn voiced his relief that his actions took place in the historical period that features a …

“You’re not oppressed. You’re privileged and white, so shut up. Also, you ran the slave trade.” New York, December 6 – A tiny ethnoreligious group that has fallen victim to extermination attempts, blood libel riots, assorted religious massacres, legal discrimination, forced conversions, mass expulsions, denial of their humanity, restrictions on where they may live, blame for …

“I understand the Western reluctance to abandon the factual realm entirely,” acknowledged James Zogby. Washington, November 24 – The distant progeny of seventh-century invaders of the Levant from the Arabian Peninsula and of later immigrants from around the region voiced puzzlement today that the White people who colonized and eventually took over the New World …

“We’re stymied,” admitted former President Barack Obama, whose own past includes posing for pictures with Farrakhan. New York, November 16 – The removal of a basketball star from a Brooklyn franchise for several games over the player’s sharing of content online that incited hatred for Jews has highlighted for experts the shortage of remedies available …

Antisemites see the privileged status of Jews in such contexts as Treblinka and conclude that Jews must exert enormous power. New York, November 7 – Widespread knowledge that Jews were herded by the millions to their extermination by gas, bullets, starvation, and brutality, following many more centuries of oppression, and still today face antisemitic violence and rhetoric, …

In some years Rosh HaShanah coincides with Saturday and Sunday, depriving Masoud of an occasion to impose that crucial didactic choice on Jewish students. New York, October 27 – A faculty member at Columbia University who proudly asserts his courses in Middle East Studies promote an “anti-colonialist” and “anti-racist” ethos, and who demands any Jewish students …

“And the rockets red glare” and “O’er the land of the free.” New York, October 13 – A Jewish vocal group of preadolescent youth whose material proved an inexplicable hit on social media over the last month turned down an offer today from a Major League Baseball team to perform The Star Spangled Banner ahead of …

“What happens after that is, I think, that everyone realizes the justice of the Palestine cause and how it supersedes anything they might have been trying to do, just because I’m so loud and vehement.” Omaha, October 4 – An audience member who shouted “Free Palestine!” as a performer on stage attempted to get through …

“Unfortunately, we were unable to act swiftly enough to set up a new agency with a similar mandate to that of UNRWA.” New York, October 3 – Delegates to the world’s largest international organization working toward cooperation among states voiced disappointment today that they missed the opportunity to duplicate the success they have enjoyed for …

“Jeremy has always been wise and with good intentions. If this move does not result in a resurgence of Labour popularity, that will also be the Jews’ fault.” Islington North, September 21 – A former leader of the United Kingdom’s Labour Party modified a longstanding mantra today to render it more accurate in the wake of …

None of his twenty-eight explanations or prognostications regarding major phenomena have matched reality. Washington, September 13 – A frequent guest on news and current events programs who provides analysis and predictions regarding developments in the international and domestic US arenas continues to appear on those programs despite repeated instances of astoundingly delusional analysis, viewers report. Matthew …

Even the braille edition of The New York Times will come to an end by mid-2023, since the use of braille requires literacy, and that discriminate against the literacy-impaired. New York, September 4 – Museums, schools, libraries, and other repositories of the collective wisdom and artistic-intellectual output of the preceding generations have embarked on a program …

AIPAC consists in its entirety of US citizens supportive of a robust alliance with the Jewish state. Washington, August 23 – Think tanks, commentators, academics, and activists whose activities enjoy financial support from undemocratic overseas governments, corporations, and institutions again criticized a grassroots US organization dedicated to maintaining and strengthening the relationship between the US …

“Does the importance of their suffering and their status as victims of injustice exist only while it can serve as leverage for the true cause, Palestine?” Chattanooga, August 11 – A man who campaigns for the recognition of indigenous status for the descendants of the tribes who inhabited the Americas before Europeans colonized the land …

Activity congruent with Israeli interests earns portrayal not as standard political behavior but as dangerous, seditious manipulation of the US government. Washington, August 3 – Lobbying, fundraising, campaigning, letter-writing, advertising, and diplomatic protocol, and related behaviors constitute healthy, proper courses of action if the parties engaging the activity involve anyone from the vast majority of humanity, but once …

“Most progressives kind of take for granted that the Palestinian cause sits at the nexus of all the world’s important challenges. It’s hard to articulate why that is, to the uninitiated.” New York, July 25 – A demonstrator outside the United Nations enjoyed only mixed success today in his attempts to convey to passers-by the …

Contrary to the rhetoric of numerous progressives, the course materials contain no ethnic prejudice. Ferguson, Missouri, July 14 – A local law enforcement officer taking hands-on courses and studying counterterrorism and other relevant subjects with instructors and materials from counterparts in the Jewish State has found that, contrary to the rhetoric of numerous progressives, the …

“Everything and everyone upholds white supremacy, given the breadth of the term’s definition necessary for us to wield is at a political cudgel as we see fit.” New York, July 5 – Progressive activists following the lead of a Boston-area group that mapped and labeled Jewish institutions as contributing to racism have hit a snag …

“The Palestinian Arab reaction has inspired us to cope with our legacy of suffering in the same way.” Berlin, June 23 – German government officials announced today that henceforth, the country will observe the ninth of May to highlight the displacement and suffering of Germans that occurred in the aftermath of German surrender to the Allies …

Mainstream media sources rushed to assist. Washington, June 14 – The historically unpopular President of the United States continued to scramble this week to shore up his poll numbers with a tactic that aims to curtain the flood of opprobrium from his chief opponents: changing his race to African-American so he can paint those opponents …

“Jeremy has all the credentials the Minor Presidents’ Conference needs: limited influence, frustrated fundraising goals, some token friends in high places…” Washington, June 1 – The director of a “pro-Israel, pro-peace” lobbying group that somehow manages never to support pro-Israel or pro-peace candidates or policies, and which pretends to exercise influence but in fact exerts …

Other factors the consultants found include wasteful, redundant contracts, conflicting jurisdictions, and corruption, none of which went against the way Hamas does things in Gaza anyway. New York, May 23 – Consultants from the militant Islamist movement that governs the Gaza Strip issued their report today on the audit they conducted of the Metropolitan Transportation Authority’s failure …

Most Mizrahi Jews live enthusiastically in Israel and support its security and prosperity, both before and since the establishment of the Jewish State. New York, May 12 – Progressive American activists who identify as Jews of European heritage but oppose Jewish sovereignty in the ancestral Jewish homeland resent the presumption of the large non-profit and political …

“Iran gets a secure location to pursue its peaceful weapons program, where foreign military operations will not reach it. The U.S. removes the materials and processes of concern from Iran. Win-win.” St. Paul, May 2 – Two prominent members of Congress suggested new possibilities in the ongoing tensions over Iran’s nuclear weapons program today by proffering …

“My biggest fear,” admitted Jamal, “is that my efforts will free Palestine, but the so-called leaders of the Free Palestine movement won’t even know, and they’ll take all the credit for my hard work.” Brooklyn, April 21 – A Crown Heights resident with experience in more than a dozen spitting, punching, pushing, and kicking incidents …

Focusing on the singular goal of righting a supposed wrong that barely registers in the annals of human suffering. London, April 11 – Leaders of the Boycott, Divest, Sanctions movement targeting Israel over what they consider the Jewish States’s occupation of Palestinian land announced today that as Moscow increases its hold on areas that belong to Kiev …

“The list plays a vital role in communicating this administration’s approach to handling terrorism.” Washington, March 31 – White House officials acknowledged today they will weigh not simply the removal of one of the most malignant, violent groups on the planet from a roster of organizations designated for sanctions and imposing severe consequences on individuals …

The criticism has not restricted itself to factual events. San Francisco, March 23 – Critics of the Jewish State continued this week to find areas in which the nation has taken either no or insufficient steps to solve issues irrelevant to that country or far beyond reasonable expectations of any state its size, such as solving the …

“Anti-Zionism is totally different – it just takes those tropes and replaces ‘Jewish’ with ‘Zionist’ and that makes it OK.” Southfield, March 14 – A woman killed in a massacre at a synagogue issued a metaphorical exhalation today upon learning that the man who took her life in a shooting attack, a radicalized anti-Israel activist, targeted …

A bigotry that Europeans thought they had vanquished in their society long ago. Frankfurt, March 23 – Europeans who view attacks targeting synagogues and related community institutions as a legitimate form of protest against Jerusalem’s policies vis-à-vis Palestinians now find themselves anxious about tolerating harassment or violence upon immigrants, descendants of immigrants, or visitors from, …

It will serve to demoralize nations that have come to rely on the US as a staunch ally, which is a central pillar of this administration’s foreign policy. Washington, February 22 – White House officials acknowledged today that the president is exploring avenues to reward Russian aggression in Ukraine by following the formula that his …

Failing that, the activists surmised, they could always engaged their team of allied progressive NGOs to involve Palestinian terrorists. Ottawa, February 13 – Leaders and prominent activists among the movements that spearheaded violent demonstrations across the US in 2020 reached out to counterparts in the convoy protests taking place to the north over vaccine mandates …

“If I remember correctly he said something about seeing an opportunity and going for it like a tiger.” Pittsburgh, February 2 – An joint event with several pro-Palestinian activist groups has managed to secure the participation of a figure of at least some renown, organizers disclosed today, in this case a Punxsutawney-area insurance salesman who they …

“Any reasonably smart Israel portfolio is going to do well.” New York, January 22 – A securities-trading firm announced today that its most successful package of equity issues for the last five years consists only of shares in companies that have resisted the Boycott, Divest, Sanctions movement targeting Israel, outpacing its next-most-profitable offering by nearly …

“When you cite facts about the ubiquity of antisemitism in the pro-Palestine movement, you smear us.” New York, January 13 – A collection of organizations, activists, and ideologues supporting the Free Palestine cause, which attracts every manner of Judaeophobe, insisted today that their push to remove the world’s only Jewish state from the map has …

The phenomenon reflects a robust consistency in their capacity to shoehorn facts into ill-fitting preconceived biases, whether conscious or not. Washington, January 4 – Researchers have discovered an exact match in gullibility or self-deception between those who believe an expression that gained popular currency as pithy criticism of media for attempting to conceal dissatisfaction with the current …