Showing 541–578 of 578 articles · Page 10 of 10
Nobody Bothers To Read Me Anymore By the Hamas Charter If I have one complaint about all the people outside the Middle East and their support for Palestinians based on liberal Western values, it would be: have you even read me? I didn’t think so. I know I’ll sound much older when I say this – I’m only 26 – but …
Sorry, We Can Only Ignore So Many Atrocities At A Time By Baudelaire Ndong Ella, President, United Nations Human Rights Council I do wish all those people criticizing the UNHRC for its important work would understand that we are first and foremost a human rights council. We’re a rights council run by humans. As such, we are not perfect. We cannot ignore all massacres and atrocities at once. …
If We Catapulted People At Sderot The Media Would Still Blame Israel By Khaled Mashal You’ll have to pardon me for quoting a Jew, but it’s good to be the king. Our efforts to control the flow of information out of the Gaza Strip have been more successful than we’d imagined. Not only did Western reporters fail to let their readers and viewers know they were being …
All Gazans Want To Be Shahids, So We’re Making The Whole Strip A Graveyard By Muhammad Dieff, Kassam Brigades You’ve heard it before, but it bears repeating: as one man, the noble residents of the Gaza Strip wish for nothing more than to become martyrs in the holy struggle to liberate our holy land from the clutches of the accursed Zionists. That’s 1.8 million potential Shahids. Which means we’re …
That “If NJ Fired Missiles At NY” Argument Gives Me An Idea By Chris Christie, Governor of New Jersey We in the Garden State are strong supporters of Israel. That’s especially the case when Republicans, such as me, are in charge. So we don’t need much convincing of Israel’s right to defend herself, and we’re kind of tickled by the argument that if New Jersey launched rockets …
I Am Tell You Why Ukraine Different From Gaza By Vladimir Putin People are ask me why am support Israel right to defend self against Gaza terrorists while encourage and arm Ukraine separatists. Answer is simple: Ukraine separatists patriots with desire to breathe free air. Gaza terrorists bunch of murderous, corrupt fanatics. Dangerous people, threaten international air travel. World cannot stand by and letting …
How Depraved Do We Have To Get? By Khaled Mashal How evil do we have to be for the international community to realize we’re little more than a bunch of murderous thugs? For crying out loud, we use our OWN children as human shields! Does this not strike you as a little bit odd? Have you not noticed that the logic of human …
The War Does Not Exempt You From Cleaning Your Room, Young Man By Mom I know we’re spending more of our time than usual in the bomb shelter, but let me be clear: this war does not exempt you from cleaning your room, young man. I will hear no more arguments. Yes, there is tension in the air, and the very real possibility of getting injured, or …
Hamas, Stop That Right Now, Or I Shall Be Forced To Frown! By US President Barack Obama The continuing rocket fire against Israeli communities is intolerable and must cease. If it does not, I will have no choice but to wear an unpleased facial expression. I have already called on Israel to act with restraint, thus discharging my obligation to minimize with my rhetoric the value of …
Jews Allowed To Defend Themselves? Inconceivable! By Vizzini Let me put it this way: ever heard of Kerry? Clinton? Carter? Morons. The whole western approach to the Arab-Israeli conflict is based on the erroneous assumption that the Jewish State should have secure borders and the ability to defend itself. The Peace Process has become, like being hired to start a war, …
I’m Glad I’m Not Getting The Same UN ‘Help’ As Palestinian Refugees By Hassan Amir, refugee from Mosul, Iraq My family was displaced last week when soldiers from the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant swept in. As Shiites, we’re persona non grata under these Sunni fanatics, so we have nowhere to go at this point but Jordan. We’re refugees. And we’re getting precious little help …
Rescue The Abducted Boys? You’re Not Allowed To Do That! Help! UN! By Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas Look, I’m sorry. You guys caught a tough break when Hamas kidnapped those three teenagers, but you can’t come barging in here to try to find them. You have to let them slowly rot as we pay lip service to getting them released, all the while leveraging the situation for …
Should I Also Compare The Kidnapped Teens To Hitler? By MK Hanin Zoabi I know I’ve done part of my job by denying that the kidnappers of the three missing Israeli boys should be called terrorists. The question is whether that goes far enough: should I only make excuses for the kidnappers, or should I actually demonize the victims by calling them a bunch …
Jews Have To Leave Because An Arab Led An Army Here In The 7th Century By Ismail Haniyeh You hear all sorts of ridiculous arguments when it comes to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Passions run high, and in service of what they perceive to be a noble cause, some partisans do a disservice to history. It’s spurious to argue that Palestinians have a prior claim to Palestine because they are descended …
Hello, Is There A Way To Submit A Death Threat To This Site? By Ayman al-Zawahiri, Al-Qaeda Leader I’ve been looking through PreOccupied Territory, but I find that it lacks one important feature: a “feedback” or “contact us” link that would enable my organization or its affiliates to threaten violent death to the site personnel, since the site publishes material that can be construed as portraying our stream of …
Oh, God, Don’t Put Me In Another Gaza Flotilla By the MV Mavi Marmara It’s getting old, people. Face it: nobody cares about the stupid Palestinians in the Gaza Strip. Least of all their leaders. So stop trying to organize “freedom” flotillas for people who would be just fine if their government would stop using them as blackmail fodder. They are just as much …
The Jews Use Conspiracy Theories To Control You By Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, Prime Minister, Republic of Turkey In the internet age it’s easier than ever to spread rumors of secret cabals manipulating major events, and to find a receptive audience for those rumors. That’s why we need to be extra vigilant, because the Jews spread those conspiracy theories so they can control your …
Free Will Is Only For White People By Martin Indyk There’s a very simple reason my team has been trying to blame Israel primarily for the recent breakdown of negotiations with the Palestinians: we can’t expect guilt to attach to Arabs, who are nonwhite and therefore not responsible for their decisions. Only white people have free will. Since Arabs, as nonwhites, lack …
Of Course All Humans Have Rights – But Jews Are Not Human By Kenneth Roth, Executive Director, Human Rights Watch It’s time to lay all the cards out on the table: our organization fights tirelessly for the rights of all humans, regardless of national origin, religious belief, sexual orientation, and myriad other factors that have been unjustly used to discriminate. The simple reason that we give short …
Democracy Is Only For People Who Agree With Me By Jeremy Ben-Ami, Executive Director, J-Street I must say I’m disappointed that the Conference of Presidents of Major Jewish Organizations voted against allowing J-Street to gain membership. It would have provided an opportunity to force our agenda onto an Israeli public that has repeatedly voted for governments opposed to our ideas. But since when has …
Destroying Israel Is The Pro-Israel Thing To Do By Jeremy Ben-Ami, J Street Executive Director We’ve gotten so used to associating support for Israel with support for Israel’s right to exist that it no longer occurs to us to wonder whether that must be the case. My organization exists for the express purpose of putting forth the notion that you can be pro-Israel …
I Like Having Iran’s Fist Up My Butt By Hezbollah Leader Hassan Nasrallah There’s no higher goal than resisting Israeli occupation. And there’s no better way to resist Israeli occupation than by replacing it with effective Iranian occupation. My organization exerts most of its efforts trying to keep Lebanon under Lebanese sovereignty, fending off the colonialist forces of the Zionists by surrendering Lebanese …
When You Finally Decide Who Killed Me And How, Don’t Wake Me By Yasser Arafat It’s been what, almost ten years now, and you’re still going on about what sinister forces conspired to assassinate me by whatever nefarious means? Get a life. I’ve got my own widow claiming I was poisoned, some Israeli quack insisting it was AIDS, my own physicians diagnosing me with gastroenteritis, and everyone …
I’ve Already Got My Nobel Peace Prize, So To Hell With You By Barack Obama Most presidents are concerned with their legacy. Not this one. I started my presidency with the world’s most prestigious peace prize already under my belt, and had nothing to prove. That means no pretense of caring about really trying to solve your stupid conflict. Eat it, suckers. A prudent president might rein …
Israelis And Palestinians Make Peace? I Plan To Be Dead By Mahmoud Abbas, Palestinian Authority President The time just is not right for a comprehensive peace deal between us and Israel. Even if it is, you won’t see me signing it. When that happens, I plan to be six feet under. Committing to the end of the conflict would mean a host of changes, none …
Don’t Insult My Life’s Work By Calling Israeli Policies ‘Genocide’ By Adolf Hitler I’m as anti-Jew as the next Nazi, but stop saying Israel commits genocide against the Palestinians. Calling anything Israel does to the Palestinians “genocide” is a slap in the face to those of us who devoted years of our lives and our entire political careers to actual genocide. I’m tired of hearing …
Documenting Palestinian Violations Of Human Rights is Just Too Darn Complicated By the Palestinian Centre For Human Rights When a rocket kills a Palestinian child, there is only one important question we rights organizations ask: who fired the weapon? Only if the answer is Israel do we then examine the myriad ways in which various Palestinian human rights have been violated. It’s a real time-saver. Once …
Our Desire To Destroy Israel As A Jewish State Is Not A Core Issue By Mahmoud Abbas, Palestinian Authority President The American-sponsored negotiations between us and Israel reached a stalemate long ago, with neither side budging on what many are calling the “core issues.” Those include arrangements for Palestinian refugees, borders, the status of Jerusalem and its holy sites, and the removal of Israeli settlers from whatever areas necessary. …
Teaching That Jews Have Rights Would Violate Palestinian Rights By Filippo Grandi, Commissioner-General, United Nations Relief and Works Agency for Palestine Refugees in the Near East As the head of UNRWA, I oversee a vast operation to help Palestinians exercise their rights, and one of those rights is denying that Jews have rights. Let’s start with the facts. My agency is tasked by UN …
PreOccupied Territory Erectio- Corrections! We Mean Corrections! By PreOccupied Territory Staff A January 27th Article entitled, “UN Insecurity Council Denounces Self” quoted an expert as characterizing the Council as troubled by issues of self-confidence, self-deception, and hypocrisy. It should also have included comical self-aggrandizement. In the January 29th article, “Saudi Arabia Outlaws Women,” the reporter failed to mention a provision of the …
How To Make Israel Look Bad For Abiding By Its Agreements With Us By Saeb Erekat, Palestinian negotiator The struggle against Israel is essentially a struggle for public opinion. There’s no question the best way to capture public opinion is to sabotage agreements we made with Israel and then blame Israel for the inevitable negative consequences. Works every time. The procedure is pretty simple: we make an agreement …
I’m Committing Crimes Against My Citizens, But I’m Not Israeli, So Who Cares? By Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un As I hardly need tell you, North Korea is not Israel. We’re not Jewish, so it takes a lot more for us to get your attention. It would be different if we were Israel. People actually seem to care what happens when Jews defy international opinion, but it takes …
Wördy Shmurdy Gurdy Israel, Palestinians Börk! Börk! Börk! By the Swedish Chef I em a strung sooppurter ooff a tvu-stete-a peece-a. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Joos, hefeeng sooffffered fur must ooff zeeur heestury es a meenurity, cunnut, es a mejureety noo in zeeur stete-a, keep zeeur buuts oon zee heeds ooff zee Pelesteeniuns in zee ooccoopeeed Vest Bunk uny lunger. Hurty flurty schnipp …
Nice Country, Israel. It Would Be A Shame If Anything Happened To It. By US Secretary of State John Kerry You Israelis have done a wonderful job building up the place. It would certainly be unfortunate if something bad happened to it. Hey, I’m not threatening. I’m just telling you, there are plenty of unpleasant folks about, and while I don’t exactly support their agenda, I must confess …
We Won’t Throw Israel Under The Bus Till We Get A Bigger Bus By Barack Obama I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: we have your back, Israel. If you ever want to see it again, do as I say. There’s been all sorts of talk of my administration throwing Israel under the the bus. Well, that’s just nonsense. At least until we get a bigger bus. …
By Mahmoud Abbas, Palestinian Authority President Binyamin Netanyahu has once again raised a non-starter of an idea: let the Israeli settlers remain in their settlements after the land is transferred to the emerging state of Palestine. Of course we Palestinians must reject that. What kind of Arab country would we be if we allowed Jews …
It’s My Job To Make Sure The English On Your Sign Is Wrong By Iver Mikhshol, Municipal Sign Approval Commission No storefront business is complete without an attractive sign out front. And no such business will open in this town unless it contains at least one glaring error in English. Guaranteed! Municipal law requires all businesses to get approval for any sign they want to put up. And …
Those IDF Racists Won’t Even Rape Our Women By Mahmoud Abbas, President of the Palestinian Authority The violations of dignity to which Israel subjects us Palestinians daily are hardly news. But perhaps pointing one one more humiliation will finally transform the world’s outrage into action: those Israeli soldiers are so racist they won’t even rape Palestinian women. That’s right: we are so subhuman …