Middle East

“They say Hamas would throw us off buildings if we went to Gaza, but there aren’t so many buildings in Gaza now.”

“Our Palestinian proxies already have amassed great quantities of it. We just need to siphon all that back.”

“Like, you don’t even understand that AIPAC isn’t Israeli.”

“All because they couldn’t just leave Israel alone.”

Leaders in the Gaza Strip have offered to spare some of the copious humanitarian aid flowing into the territory.

“So who’s killing all the Zionists?”

They expect Westerners to flee en masse if the current effective takeover of Europe by swarms of immigrants continues.

Experts differ over the specific benefits that Israel might seek by taking over swaths of distant northern Syria.

Those sharing the mislabeled Syria clips don’t care about the impact on one of the few industries in Gaza still producing paychecks.

Perhaps the mass murder isn’t so mass-murdery yet or something.

The same as Iran’s proxies’ tunnels, but without all the digging.

Israel’s impotence fails to account for killing every last Palestinian with impunity for the last 76 years, which has resulted in a tenfold increase in the Palestinian population.

“Concerns over the harmful impact the incident may have on our image and sales.”

“Fake news. The whole Palestinian refugee idea is fake news.”

They declined to specify which alternative despots the administration is considering.

Exacerbated “friendly-fire” incidents.

“What can I say, the man likes ass.”

“Phase two will move toward implementing policies regarding Palestinians that do resemble those of our namesake.”

“It’s so unlike our brethren, to make grandiose promises to us and not make good on them.”

“How do they expect to deliver the same level of care without all the essentials?”

The prime suspect in the Israeli espionage operations, is codenamed Spank Meidadi.

Approximately 5,000 forced-laborers from south Asia, southeast Asia, and Africa.

“Some large ships from Iran bound for us have also disappeared. I don’t know if they had sloped roofs installed.”

Nasrallah: “Expert Student of Underground Décor.”

Pro-Iran-regime voices boasted of clocking that Jill and Hunter were the acting chief executives in 2018.

“If we are going to serve as the stenographers for Islamists, we bloody well better convey the most up-to-date, in-season Hamas talking points.”

“It doesn’t count when indigenous people do it.”

Visitors recite passages blaming Israel for the death of the child and reporting it as such to human rights organizations.

The group has depleted two eighteen-wheelers carrying food for hungry Gazans.

Instead of rappelling or skydiving, the thrill of sudden drops from tall buildings.

“They can put up numbers that we’ll never reach.”

Israel has hacked the personal lighting systems, as well, causing them to turn off at inconvenient times.

With the military preoccupied with countering Iran, countering Iran might have to take a back seat.

Complicating factor: the unavailability of exit interviews by those no longer with the company.

US police can only produce a pale imitation of that level of abuse.

Palestinian civilians are not actually the people the Biden administration aims to help. That distinction belongs to the mullahs.

He has even switched from Himalayan rock salt to much less expensive alternatives.

“Even collectively, they don’t add up to what any individual Nazis our forebears sheltered had accomplished. It’s embarrassing.”

The “anti-Zionist” states of the Middle East harbored Nazi war criminals.

“The bake sale is more of the same: Hamas-UNRWA extracting every last shekel from ordinary Palestinians.”

“Could we have forced a smaller number of them to stay behind so we would always have a ready scapegoat or object of abuse?”

None of them wish to sustain themselves on the flesh of someone so repulsive.

Sharing those nonexistent escapades on various Telegram channels to boast of their domination over, and degradation of, the hated Jews.

“I assume the noble souls refraining from overpriced bean water know what they’re doing, and I thank them for it.”

The presence of so many well-fed people in the photos caught executives by surprise. “We were told Gaza was running out of food.”

“The administration has made clear its priorities and values.”

Analysts expect only token mention of the expulsion from human rights organizations and expressions of “concern.” Kuwait City, December 4 – Officials from the palace of the Emir, Sheikh Nawaf Al-Ahmad Al-Jaber Al-Sabah Nawaf, announced today that this Persian Gulf country will forcibly remove residents of Palestinian ancestry, not specifically because of animus toward the …

“It can’t be that Palestinians aren’t interested in a peaceful resolution so we know not to make that argument.”

“It’s more than a little offensive when ‘Palestinians’ speak for us.”

The libel continues to find currency among Gazans and supporters of violent Palestinian opposition to Israel.

At least two dozen from Arab countries without official diplomatic relations with Israel. Gaza Envelope, October 31 – A group of gun batteries providing smoke cover and targeting enemy positions and personnel with their ballistic fire reported today that in the last 24 hours, since opening up an online-payment channel and advertising on social media, …

“The innocent missiles were not armed with missiles.” Damascus, October 30 – Following an Israeli air attack on a military convoy headed toward Israel inside Syria, the Assad government and Iranian President Rouhani condemned Israel’s “aggression” against the surface-to-air missiles the convoy was transporting. “The Zionist regime has once again demonstrated its utter disregard for …

“Those are totally real. If you don’t believe that, you’re Islamophobic.” London, October 30 – Activists dismissing the copious documentation of Hamas atrocities in southern Israel three weeks ago as fabricated or exaggerated – much of that documentation from the Palestinian perpetrators themselves – think you should take at face value the photos and clips …

The focus must remain Israeli wrongdoing and Israeli obligations as we define them, and if that means Gaza civilians remain in harm’s way, so be it. Remember, we’re a human rights organization.

Repeating the procedure that the Assad regime has used throughout the country’s civil war, including against thousands of Palestinians.

Arab states that established, or are considering establishing, relations with Israel – suddenly their human rights records became important.

The Mossad did not respond to any inquiries whether it knows of its operations’ impact.

Despite glorification of “martyrs” and devotion to the land of Palestine in popular Palestinian and Arab media.

Authorities are unable to effectively shift blame to Israel for all Palestinian ills.

It will include an ensemble performing the piece 4’33 by John Cage.