Jerusalem, July 13 - Noa Shamgar, 14, grumbled as she accepted her mother’s welcome-home hug yesterday.

“Ugh, why couldn’t Iran start launching missiles again? I was having such a good time in New York.”

The high-schooler explained that for the last two weeks, as her grandparents took her to see friends and family, and to do fun and touristy things, she kept wishing for the animus between the Islamic Republic’s regime and the Jewish State to flare up once again into aerial operations that would shut down Ben-Gurion Airport and force her to remain on vacation.

“Stupid ayatollahs,” she spat. “I was having such a good time.”

Noa’s grandparents flew her to New York as they have done for all of her older cousins and siblings, a post-bat-mitzva trip that can include time in the White Mountains of New Hampshire, barbecues with extended family, shopping, restaurants, and other fun excursions. For Noa, her parents and grandparents surprised the avid Harry Potter fan with tickets to the Broadway production Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, starring Tom Felton as the elder Draco Malfoy, reprising his childhood role from the film series - a dramatic spectacle that Noa still gushes about when recalling the highlights of her trip.

“I wanted to go to K-Pop stores but didn’t have time,” she lamented. “But with all flights to Israel grounded, there would have been time. And enough time to buy more books.”

Despite the apparent collapse of the US-Iran ceasefire and Memorandum of Understanding reached last month, with American airstrikes on Iranian assets and Iran’s insistence on charging tolls for passage through the Straits of Hormuz, no new barrage materialized in time to extend Noa’s stay. She landed at Ben-Gurion on schedule, suitcase bulging with limited-edition Ravenclaw merch and enough Stray Kids merch to last until eleventh grade.

“I checked the news every morning,” Noa sighed. “Hezbollah, Houthis, even the Iranians themselves—nothing. I refreshed Flightradar24 like fifty times a day hoping for ‘no departures from TLV’ alerts. Instead I get this.” She gestured glumly at her sunlit Jerusalem bedroom, where a poster of the Hogwarts Express now competes for precious wall space with a Taylor Swift photo.

Her mother, Talia Shamgar, rolled her eyes while urging her daughter to unpack.. “We told her the trip was two weeks, not two months. Suddenly she’s an expert on ballistic missile ranges. Last year her brother prayed for a snow day in New Hampshire. This one wanted World War Three so she could hit Sephora one more time.”

Noa insisted her geopolitical hopes were purely personal. “It’s not like I wanted anyone hurt,” she clarified. “Just enough chaos to cancel the flight. Maybe a couple of drones over the airport, some sirens, the usual. Then boom — extra week in Manhattan.”

“Well, maybe Iran will get their act together by the time the school year starts in September,” Noa hoped.

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