The price for condoms saw a smaller but significant drop, as well.

Ashdod, May 5 – Cannabis consumers expressed excitement today following the confiscation of large quantities of marijuana from the activists who attempted last week to breach Israel’s maritime blockade of Hamas-controlled territory.

Customs officials in Ashdod reported seizing roughly 2.8 tons of high-grade cannabis and several pallets of premium European latex prophylactics — the only actual cargo discovered aboard the vessels. “There was no humanitarian aid,” said Lt. Col. Yossi Ben-Ami of the Israel Navy. “Just like the previous flotillas, it was all theater: a few sacks of expired flour for the cameras, some dusty medical textbooks, and a whole lot of personal party supplies for the activists themselves. The dogs went straight for the weed and never looked back.”

Market vendors in various urban centers wasted no time flooding the streets with the “Freedom Flotilla Personal Stash.” Gram prices crashed from 400 shekels (about $130 ) to around 180 ($60) within hours, with dealers joking about “buy one eighth, get a European activist’s leftover condoms free.” One vendor, who gave his name as “Eh, Dudu” was already sampling the goods mid-afternoon. “These Europeans really came prepared for their own long voyage. Respect. No rice, no baby formula, no generators — just premium buds and protection for the crew. Classic flotilla.”

The activists, members of the “Sail for Justice” coalition, claimed the marijuana was “medical CBD for Gaza’s trauma victims” and the condoms were for “family planning workshops.” Once the manifests and body-camera footage were released, the story shifted. Spokeswoman Greta Embargo, speaking from detention, admitted off-camera that “a significant portion was for personal use during the stressful journey and planned victory parties.”

Economists observed an unexpected micro-boon for Israel’s economy. Dr. Miriam Lazar of Tel Aviv University projected the sudden supply could trim local inflation slightly while giving tech-sector productivity a temporary “extremely relaxed” bump. Black-market importers from traditional routes were less thrilled. “This undercuts years of careful logistics from the north and south,” grumbled one anonymous dealer. “Next time they’ll just send influencers with backpacks.”

By evening, beach parties in Herzliya and Eilat were in full swing with “Flotilla Personal Reserve” making the rounds alongside the newly nicknamed “Blockade Buster” prophylactics. One cheerful participant captured the mood: “They sailed all this way with nothing for Gaza but plenty for themselves. If only it were merely metaphor.”

Local bakeries, meanwhile, also reported a bump in sales.

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