by James “Buffalo Bill” Gumm

Belvedere, Ohio, May 4 – It puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again: that’s the rule in my basement workshop, and I’ve always stuck to it. I pick the material carefully. I measure twice, cut once. The result is a suit that fits like it was born there. Authentic. Personal. Mine.

But lately I’ve been watching these pro-Islamist activists slip into their own costumes, and it’s making me look like an amateur. They don’t even bother with the lotion. They just pull on a “human rights” NGO like it’s a off-the-rack Halloween mask — Amnesty International, Human Rights Watch, Oxfam, whatever’s in season — and suddenly they’re the world’s moral authority. They march, they chant, they issue press releases about “occupation” and “genocide” while their real agenda peeks out at the seams: support for groups that throw gays off rooftops, stone women for adultery, and turn entire neighborhoods into launchpads for rockets. It’s a skin suit, folks. A cheap, ill-fitting one.

I get the appeal: skin suits are liberating. They let you be whoever you want while the rest of the world sees what you show them. But at least when I wear mine, I don’t pretend I’m saving anybody. I don’t fly to Geneva to lecture the United Nations about “international law” while my ideological roommates back home are busy enforcing blasphemy laws with machetes. These NGO posers do. They wrap themselves in the language of rights — universal, inalienable, for everyone except the Jews, the apostates, and the women who forget to cover up — and then act shocked when someone points out the bloodstains on the lining.

The worst part? They’re giving the whole skin-suit community a bad name. People used to look at me, or at least at reports of my oeuvre, and think, “There’s a guy who commits to his craft.” Now they see these frauds on campus quad protests or outside synagogues and figure every skin suit is just cover for something uglier. It’s insulting. I spent weeks perfecting the tuck and the seams. They spent five minutes on a logo redesign and called it “advocacy.”

I’m only asking for a little professional courtesy. If you’re going to wear the suit, wear it right. Own the hypocrisy. Stop pretending the “human rights” label hides the jihad. Because right now you’re not fooling anybody who’s paying attention, and you’re definitely not fooling me. I know a skin suit when I see one. Yours is slipping.

Please support our work through Patreon.
Buy In The Biblical Sense: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B92QYWSL