“One woman even covered her ears in what I can only describe as ecstatic surrender.”

Jerusalem, May 14 – Idan Sokel guided his Ford E-350 down Betzalel Street yesterday afternoon, sharing his 100-decibel vocal and instrumental playlist as part of his mission to inspire and invigorate anyone within earshot, under the erroneous assumption that the vast majority of those within earshot would react with positive disposition, instead of the anger and alienation from his message that in fact resulted.

Sokel, a devotee of Breslover Hasidism, disclosed in an interview this morning his sense of satisfaction that he could bring so many people into contact with the pure, joyful experience of Rabbi Nahman of Breslov’s teachings, prominent among them the embrace of unbridled joy regardless of circumstances. He surmised that during his twenty-five minute drive around parts of the city’s downtown areas, he had single-handedly elevated the spiritual vibration of the entire neighborhood. “You could see it in their faces,” Sokel enthused, adjusting his kippah while sipping coffee near the van, now mercifully silent. “The way they looked at me, waving their hands and shouting — it was pure simcha! One woman even covered her ears in what I can only describe as ecstatic surrender. Baruch Hashem, the Na Nach energy is working!”

Bystanders offered a different interpretation. “I thought my skull was going to split open,” said Miri Cohen, 34, a graphic designer who was attempting to enjoy a quiet lunch on a nearby bench. “It was like a mobile disco run by someone who hates sleep. I yelled at him to turn it down, and he just smiled bigger and cranked it up. Joy? Maybe homicidal joy.” Several drivers behind the van reported similar sentiments, with one taxi operator honking furiously for the duration of the crawl through traffic. Local shopkeepers noted a brief uptick in earplug sales.

Sokel attributes any apparent negativity to “the yetzer hara fighting back against the light.” He explained that the van, adorned with glowing “Na Nach Nachma Nachman Me’Uman” decals and a rooftop speaker array powerful enough to register on seismographs, represents the most direct application of Rebbe Nachman’s call to spread joy in the streets. “People think they’re annoyed, but deep down, their souls are dancing,” he insisted. “Maybe they don’t know it yet. That’s why we keep going — louder, longer, until the whole world joins the circle.”

City officials confirmed receiving multiple noise complaints during Sokel’s circuit, but said enforcement remains challenging. “These vans are a Jerusalem tradition at this point,” sighed one patrolman. “Like the cats and the protesters. You learn to live with the soundtrack.”

Undaunted, Sokel planned another run for later in the week, possibly extending into the evening hours “so the night owls can also receive their portion of holy bliss.” He added that donations for fuel and new speakers would be gratefully accepted, preferably from those whose lives had been “irrevocably transformed” by the experience.

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